Life Commences

Last Friday, I had the opportunity to spend the morning with my youngest son. I see him weekly, but most of the time we’re with other people. During this rare day trip, he mused that he had jumped into LIFE much faster than he had ever imagined when he first started college. He shared that he always thought there would be time to have fun and travel… to live in a big city and explore. But as quickly as he ventured down that road of youthful expectations, he quickly redirected to his current reality and how thankful he was for his life, his girlfriend and a career that was exactly what he had hoped for.

May 9, 2020, has been blocked off on my calendar for well over a year now. “Sam Graduation 10:00 am” was the only entry on the day- those few words carrying with them the expectation of a trip to Oskaloosa, time with family and friends, tears, and a toast or two. Even though he completed his course work in December and jumped right into a classroom shortly after winter break, we were all looking forward to celebrating this milestone in his life.

In the absence of a true graduation ceremony, where I would have watched my son walk across a stage and receive his well-earned degree, we had a quarantine acceptable, well-spaced, small gathering. We were able to eat, drink, and celebrate with a few close friends and family members.

Yesterday was graduation day.
There was no gown or cap with a tassel to toss
No cords to signify the late-night effort
No handshakes or hugs… or cheers from the crowd
I didn’t straighten your tie or stand through pomp and circumstance
I didn’t listen to speeches that speculated the greatness that would be produced by the class of 2020
or try to decipher inside jokes.
I didn’t fret and wonder if you would find your own cap after you flung it into the air.
I didn’t get to hide a clean unwrinkled program from your dad who faithfully rolls it in his nervousness.
I didn’t get to hear your name as you walked across the stage
or stand back watching you high five your friends or hug your family FOR HOURS until you turned to me and flashed me that famous smile, indicating it was finally my turn.

Yesterday was graduation day.
I woke before my alarm with a feeling of extreme joy.
I took the time to sit in silence with my morning coffee, reminiscing of days long gone.
I sat too long, thinking of you and then rushed, like always, hoping you would arrive on Mosiman time (which we know is just late enough to not be on time, but just early enough to not appear rude).
I got the first hug and witnessed loving interactions with family and friends. 
It wasn’t the day I’d hoped for you, but it was a good day. 

I’m so proud of you Samuel. 

I’m proud of your commitment to your school work and you’re teachers, your love, and your family. You have become an amazing man and I can’t wait to see the difference you make in the lives of your students. I pray you will remember your victories and your struggles as you pass your great love of life and learning to the little ones placed in your care.
Your life is just beginning- take it and run as far as your dreams will allow.

I love you always and forever,

Mom