Dear younger, busier me.

How are you doing? I know your answer. “Fine” or “good,” and said with a little shrug and a
smile. You want to tell me more: the stupid, silly, and hard things. But you don’t say anything
because you think I am not actually invested. You don’t think you are worth it. So, you continue
the conversation by asking about me.

You follow up with something you remembered from the last time we talked. It helps me feel
important. Now you have to go, and just in time—you saved yourself from letting me in.
You leave the conversation feeling happy for a moment. Then sadness rushes over you. You
feel like you can’t spill your guts to me even though I am a close friend. I leave feeling loved that
you remembered, but I feel sad because you won’t let me in.

About the book:
Living as a people-pleaser, or “be-gooder,” made my life small as I filled it with helping others. If
you needed something, I had it and was already on my way to bring it to you with a smile on her
face. I was constantly volunteering, taking on additional work projects, or helping friends. All
good things, but I knew something was off. Was this the life of a follower of Jesus—complete
self-abandonment and fizzling friendships? Jesus never seemed this exhausted.

Through my natural love for scripture, I began studying the Israelites. As I read, I asked God to
reveal what I needed to work on. My eyes were opened to see how the repetitive cycles of the
Israelites mirrored my own unbroken habits. The cycles of idolatry and pride that trapped the
Israelites were also reflected in my life of people-pleasing. I unearthed the heart of this struggle:
I did not believe I was important enough to be put first when I needed to, and my pride kept me
from revealing my shortcomings to others. I had put my image before taking care of myself and
deepening my relationships genuinely.
I learned to advocate for myself and that it was okay to disappoint others, as unnatural as it felt.
I grasped that God was pleased with me before I did anything. This shift in beliefs energized me
to do the good I felt God place in front of me—but without placing my identity in it.

About the Author:
I am an author, graphic designer, and former adjunct professor with Master’s degrees in both Graphic Communications and Evangelism and Leadership. You can now find me teaching middle school kids or in the women's ministry at our church. I write regularly on Substack about life as a recovering people pleaser! I love spending time with my people, creating, and watching shows/movies I can squeeze theological meaning from. I find peace + healing when in nature. I live outside of Austin, Texas, with my husband, Eric, two middle school daughters, and our dog.

Buy People, Please! Leaving the Crowd’s Approval for the Glory of One

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